tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post600276269054437647..comments2023-07-22T02:54:59.501-07:00Comments on Homeowner Association Rant: Archived Homeowner Association RantHomeowner Association Ranthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07628529906576061066noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-85092704369582294042010-02-15T10:31:33.841-08:002010-02-15T10:31:33.841-08:00nice article. I would love to follow you on twitte...nice article. I would love to follow you on twitter.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-81287667084867689222008-02-28T10:51:00.000-08:002008-02-28T10:51:00.000-08:00You People and Your HOA's, You Worry Me.HOA's ? Wo...You People and Your HOA's, You Worry Me.<BR/><BR/>HOA's ? Worrying about Burned-out Light Bulbs ?<BR/><BR/>Some people need a lesson in neighborhood aesthetics.<BR/><BR/>Take me for instance, I've lived in this same house since Mecham first outted his pickaninnies.<BR/><BR/>My original neighbors were here since Goldwater wanted to nuke the Earf.<BR/><BR/>Most of my old neighbors have either died or moved-on to be neglected in sub-par Veterans nursing homes or something.<BR/><BR/>My new neighbors are mostly younger couples striving for anal-yuppiedom, a smattering of realtor house-flippers, and a rougue lesbian who had the misfortune to move-in next door to me.<BR/><BR/>BUT... somehow we get along.<BR/><BR/>My neigbors are constantly building-on additions, remodeling, and generally trying to increase the net worth of their home-investments in order to avoid winding-up in a sub-par nursing home, at some time in their future, I think.<BR/><BR/>My house, on the other hand... looks like the Bates Motel.<BR/><BR/>However, I do know all of my neighbors' names ( I call them all...HI ! ), I wave to them, and I post disparaging remarks about them, here on cl RnR, all the time, for ever and ever, Amen.<BR/><BR/>I also shoot the neighborhood pigeons and the roof rats, keep my weeds below 2 ft. tall, and I try to collect the newspapers from my drive-way... at least once a month.<BR/><BR/>Anybody who would attempt to rob my house would have to nuttier than me, and that is pretty-much impossible.<BR/><BR/>My neighbors appreciate this fact.<BR/><BR/>The mere outward appearance of my house...with it's peeling paint-chips, eternally-closed blinds, nightly screams eminating from within, and the fact that Mexicans are afraid of Siberian Huskies... all issue a big " DON'T GO THERE " to any enterprising criminals who might consider a break-in from within a 500 ft. radius of me, which pretty-much includes everybody on my block.<BR/><BR/>The neighbors appreciate me as a deterant, and they accept me as a necessary evil ( they have no choice... anyway ).<BR/><BR/>If one of my outside light-bulbs were to miraculously LIGHT-UP somehow, I have no doubt, one of my good neighbors would quickly unscrew it for me.<BR/><BR/>Now THAT... is the sign of a good neighbor.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-75607807520482287882008-02-28T10:44:00.000-08:002008-02-28T10:44:00.000-08:00HOA, Fruitcakes, and Idiot Neighbors ...I live in ...HOA, Fruitcakes, and Idiot Neighbors ...<BR/><BR/>I live in a HOA. Its not bad. I have a guy that use tocomplain all the time. Fine go ahead. Now instead of being nice and parking the work van on the side of the house (on the road of course, coner lot) we park in front. The HOA cant do anything because they cant catch us. We also bring home a 8ft by 10ft trailer, and of corse being the nice person I am I drop it in the street in front of my house. I call ahead and tell the HOA. Im good. Now on to the 30 ft toy hauler, boy did that send him in a fit. Well we can park in for 72 hrs and we are good with the HOA.. Come Christmas do we drive him nuts. The light bulbs allways change color out by the garage, sometimes white some blue and the one that sent him into a triade was the red. So there are ways to drive them nuts and get away. And yes I know all my neighbors and yes we all do this to drive him crazy, did it work yep he now stfu and leaves us alone. Oh yea he hated the bomber (manzy)we parked in the driveway on weekends and put in the garage come sunday.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-46621975465265804072008-02-23T14:06:00.000-08:002008-02-23T14:06:00.000-08:00Next time someone gives you shit, go out catch a f...Next time someone gives you shit, go out catch a few rattlesnakes and throw them over the fence....works on HOA board Members too! <BR/>The snakes are indigenous to Arizona so it's hard to prove they didn't show up on their own. <BR/>If they are renters, they'll be gone the next week. <BR/>If they live there, repeat until they move out. <BR/>Scorpions work well also but they may come back to your property.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-222878353793229482008-02-20T04:33:00.000-08:002008-02-20T04:33:00.000-08:00To my HOA Reps who are stalking my property -Cool!...To my HOA Reps who are stalking my property -<BR/><BR/>Cool!<BR/>As long as you remember every time I bend over, this moon's 4 U ! <BR/><BR/>LOL!! <BR/><BR/>And by the way I'm not just watching you too, I've got the cameras rolling so SMILE!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-17221442848123272912008-02-14T07:23:00.000-08:002008-02-14T07:23:00.000-08:00HOA Is a big scam. Think about if you put that mon...HOA <BR/><BR/>Is a big scam. Think about if you put that money aside yourself for improvements, taxes, etc. If you are here co mplaining about your HOA ... heard it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-51840761902992210182008-02-14T04:41:00.000-08:002008-02-14T04:41:00.000-08:00A fix for barking dogsIf you have a complete ass o...A fix for barking dogs<BR/><BR/>If you have a complete ass of a neighbor like mine, stuff some ex lax in a hotdog and chuck it over the fence.<BR/><BR/>Forget about HOA's; Animal Control; or the Police they are useless for this type of problem.<BR/>Animal control only works if the dog is running lose and they see it when they come buy.<BR/>The police will generally come only if the dog is a threat to human life, as in it all ready bit someone.<BR/>HOA's are made of of idiots and most are animal lovers, so the PETA freaks are not our friend, they just want your monthly HPA dues.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-61195063953387176012008-02-13T21:13:00.000-08:002008-02-13T21:13:00.000-08:00I have to post this one for all of you. About 3 mo...I have to post this one for all of you. About 3 months ago I painted a house for a client. Called the HOA and told them I would be doing it as they had requested, They had sent him a letter notifying him it needed painting. Since he wanted it painted the same color as before, I called the HOA and asked them for the colors. I live in Dobson Ranch and the HOA here has color chips on file for every homeowner. They didnt have a clue, lucky for me the neighbor had the same color and had some old paint I could match. Anyway I paint the house, I used Behr Premium paints, and prepped the house as I always do. Pressure washed it, sanded and scraped where it needed it, took my time and did a good job. Since the homeowner lives out of state I had the tenants check everything over for the owner and they said it looked great. Today I get a email from my client, he was in town for the superbowl and said the house looked fantastic, that was on the 31st of January. Now 2 weeks later, he gets another letter from the HOA telling him that he needs to paint the house. I dont know what those people are smoking but the house dosnt need a paint job and wont for at least the next 7-10 years.<BR/><BR/>Now as I said I live in Dobson Ranch and we just got a new director. The HOA here is fully funded with millions in the bank for any repairs. HOA fees are $34.65 per month. The new director hired someone from her old property management company to be the new compliance person. He left a tag on our garage telling us the house needed to be painted. The house is Slump block and is unpainted and has been since 1984 when the house was built, The trim is painted but we just painted the trim last year and it there isnt a flaw on it.<BR/><BR/>The reason builders are putting in HOAs is not to keep the area nice. Its a money maker for them. If you read your CCRs which no one ever does you will find all the information you need to find out the real scam. You see the builder has a stipulation that as long as they own a home in the subdivision the HOA must stay in place. Now one I had a few years ago CCRs did not allow rental properties. But the builder maintained a rental home in the neighborhood so we couldnt disband the HOA. Mind you we only had about 80 homes. We were paying about $135 a month for fees to maintain common areas. Common areas consisted of 2 feet of dirt at the end house with bushes that were not watered unless the owner of that home did it. The other end of the street had a river rock retention basin and a few trees. They hounded you. Garbage can out 5 minutes after the truck left. FINE, Car parked in street-FINE anything they could they would give you a fine. I had an average of $150 in fines a month, plus the $135 for about $285 a month. Well I was getting sick of it and after reading the CCRs, I contacted the management company and asked them which house was still owned by the builder. I knew he didnt live there since he lived next door to my parents. You see the catch was he also owned the management company that maintained the HOA. I also found out that they were paid with whatever funds were left at the end of the month after maintence of the "Common Areas" I lived in the house for a year and never once did I see anyone maintain anything. So the builder was basically raking in about 15K a month for nothing. Well I went door to door and got all the owners to come to a HOA meeting. Once I explained that we could force the builder to either move into the house he owned, which I knew he wouldnt move from a 6000 sw ft waterfront home into a 1000sq ft house. Or he had to sell it since rentals were not allowed. He chose to sell it. Once he did we called another meeting and disbanded the HOA. I was at my parents house in the backyard when he got the call from the management company that he just lost 15K a month in income and he was fuming!!!! He couldnt figure out how anyone was able to disband the HOA, but the HOA is just that a HOME OWNERS ASSOCIATION. If you dont like what is happening within your HOA its your own fault. Become a board member, go to the meetings, read your CCRs cover to cover. If you have a neighbor who is constantly complaining about your home, maybe you should go meet them. find out why they have an issue and then if need be harrass him as much as he does you. dont like the HOA, well if there is no common ares like swimming pools, club houses or other things maybe you can just go door to door and disband your HOA.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-39723217553550725512008-02-13T17:56:00.000-08:002008-02-13T17:56:00.000-08:00Just a thought -Religion always likes to enter pol...Just a thought -<BR/>Religion always likes to enter politics, so<BR/><BR/><BR/>IF ALLAH WERE REAL, HE WOULD KILL ALL HOA BOARD MEMBERSAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-49157627389934043372008-02-13T17:54:00.000-08:002008-02-13T17:54:00.000-08:00HOA = HAND OVER AMERICAIt always comforts me to he...HOA = HAND OVER AMERICA<BR/><BR/>It always comforts me to hear that a good number of fine, free-thinking citizens in America still don’t know what an HOA is. They’ve never even heard of it. It’s democracy depleting presence is a stranger in in their neighborhood. Those who have heard the acronym HOA have been persuaded to bekieve it means Home Owners Association. Independent, free-thinking Americans know quite well that it really means “Hand Over America.” For those that have have accepted the masked definition of the term, please allow me to explain.<BR/><BR/>Now, I’d be the first to agree that most of us probably don’t put enough intelligent, conscious effort into building, designing or maintaining our homes and the property around it. Even though we spend over 200 billion every year on remodeling alone. How many of us believe that effort can be called Architecture. There’s a lot of building going on…but very little Architecture. Here’s proof. How many of us believe that our homes are of museum quality? Not only should the be of museum quality, but all of us should be able to afford to build them that way on a teacher’s salary. One must be far more creative on a limited budget, than an unlimited. That’s where I always seem to get myself into trouble.<BR/><BR/>You see, some of the greatest offenders to the concept of an HOA isn’t the neighbor with the grass that’s overgrown or the house that may need a fresh coat of paint or even the one with the old car in the driveway. As much of a blight as they may appear to be, they are not as vast in their growing numbers as their over manicured counterparts. For at least they do not disquise their intent.<BR/>No, the families that house the largest number of offenders have cleverly hidden themselves right under our noses. We all know their names quite well. Many are our own friends and neighbors. They are the Pulte’s, the Toll Brothers, the Horton’s and the Del Web’s of our country. Just to name a few. These families have stripped our neighborhoods of their character and dignity far worse and with such expedience. It’s not the barking dog next door that is causing the greatest disturbances in our communities. It is the clever work of the profit seekers that have dug up all that is around us. And we’ve sent out the welcome wagon for them complete with fresh baked goods, and of course, various incentives in tow.<BR/>It’s hard to beleive that such a large population in America has lowered its standard of living and given up so quickly on it’s dream for the dream home. Settling for so much less then even their grandparents insisted upon when it comes to quality and craftmanship.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-36335544745535365712008-02-13T17:50:00.000-08:002008-02-13T17:50:00.000-08:00Our Educational System has:Removed us from Nature....Our Educational System has:<BR/><BR/>Removed us from Nature...and locking us up in the city, So now most feel, and their children feel, that they must live in the city just to exist.<BR/><BR/>That's why we live in the country.<BR/><BR/>And as an Architect and Builder, I'm quite aware of what an HOA is and does. It's the old battle of received value vs perceived value. Guess who's winning that battle, now? Look where the banks and mortgage companies are with their "perceived value".<BR/><BR/>If we foolishly continue to ignore this beauty...we will soon find ourselves without it.<BR/><BR/><BR/>The HOA, in an attempt to beautify our land, has instead disgraced it with it's un-natural pursuit of perfection.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-14950810249253354682008-02-13T17:29:00.000-08:002008-02-13T17:29:00.000-08:00Re: Barking Dogs SolutionProblems with inconsidera...Re: Barking Dogs Solution<BR/><BR/>Problems with inconsiderate neighbors that own a constantly barking dog? Here is a sure-fire cure...<BR/><BR/>Take a half pound of freshly ground beef, break up a 40 watt light bulb and incorporate the glass fragments into the meat. Wait until dark and sneak over to your neighbor's house.<BR/>Leave the meat where the dog is ......<BR/><BR/>P.S. - Works the same for cats but use a can of tuna and a small 25 watt bulb.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-72539407695944275262008-02-13T17:26:00.000-08:002008-02-13T17:26:00.000-08:00Well my HOA wont due shit about the barking dogs o...Well my HOA wont due shit about the barking dogs or feral cats.<BR/>What good are they ...<BR/><BR/>NONR !!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-56231417592140642502008-02-13T17:23:00.000-08:002008-02-13T17:23:00.000-08:00Remember ......Realtors like HOA'sbut then 6% = Gr...Remember ......<BR/><BR/>Realtors like HOA's<BR/><BR/>but then 6% = GreedAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-89988628796151586182008-02-13T17:22:00.000-08:002008-02-13T17:22:00.000-08:00HOA -Out you demons of stupidity...OUT, Out I sayHOA -<BR/><BR/>Out you demons of stupidity...OUT, Out I sayAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-77708159535718923852008-02-13T17:21:00.000-08:002008-02-13T17:21:00.000-08:00Hi, I am an HOA Board Member...I can't brain today...Hi, I am an HOA Board Member...<BR/><BR/>I can't brain today ...<BR/><BR/>I have a dumbAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-19971934821749614332008-02-13T17:19:00.000-08:002008-02-13T17:19:00.000-08:00Arizona and HOA'sI happen to live in a subdivision...Arizona and HOA's<BR/><BR/>I happen to live in a subdivision with an HOA and we have NEVER had a problem with them. Infact, nobody I know of in here has. There is nobody "spying" on you. Nobody "telling you what to do". It's all just common sense. Keep your place clean. And not all of our homes look the same. And the colors aren't bright and loud for a reason. It's calming to see neutral colors. The only thing irritating is the wetbacks that come through here plastering their ads all over the place and taping them to our garages. Look around dumbass. We do a good job keeping our yards up by ourselves.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-19176871119952672872008-02-13T17:17:00.000-08:002008-02-13T17:17:00.000-08:00Why the hell does everyone think that THEIR HOA is...Why the hell does everyone think that THEIR HOA isn't run by assholes? <BR/>All HOAs are benevolent and beneficial? <BR/>HUH, WTF ???<BR/>Listen to the people posting here !!! <BR/>Most, oh what the hell ALL HOAs are run by assholes. <BR/>Do you get it yet!?!?<BR/>Who needs them? If an infraction is serious enough and talking to the neighbor doesn't get results, there is a city ordinance that will be enforced once the cops are contacted. If not, then the infraction isn't serious enough to worry about.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-52738680304064598642008-02-13T17:14:00.000-08:002008-02-13T17:14:00.000-08:00All this talk about HOA'sYou People Are Nuttier Th...All this talk about HOA's<BR/><BR/>You People Are Nuttier Than Squirrel Shit !Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-64806398166279306912008-02-13T17:13:00.000-08:002008-02-13T17:13:00.000-08:00HOA's v Sheeplef an HOA is all about common sense,...HOA's v Sheeple<BR/>f an HOA is all about common sense, then why are there so many HOA's to begin with.<BR/><BR/>Because the vast majority, taught strictly academically, have no clue about what a community is, what natural beauty is, or how to create it.<BR/><BR/>Case in point: Over two hundred billion dollars (that's $200,000,000,000) is spent every year in America just to remodel our homes.<BR/><BR/>When it's all said and done, How many of them are of museum quality? It's amazing how we know little more than how to copy off on another!<BR/><BR/>Hence, the typical master planned community.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-37141936331387868882008-02-13T17:07:00.000-08:002008-02-13T17:07:00.000-08:00Defending HOAs means you love conformity and are a...Defending HOAs means you love conformity and are a dullard.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-33949149870696174432008-02-13T17:05:00.000-08:002008-02-13T17:05:00.000-08:00Gladys Kravitz from "Bewitched" was a member of an...Gladys Kravitz from "Bewitched" was a member of an HOA!!<BR/><BR/>Remember her, peering out her window at all the shenanigans at Darren's and Samantha's house??<BR/><BR/>Well, she had a reason. But old farts of the HOA do not.<BR/><BR/>And may a giant steaming turd drop haphazardly on the executive board at an very important HOA meeting.<BR/><BR/>My God, who will be in charge of the architecture commitee (OXYMORON for sure)?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-27882306435032186102008-02-13T05:56:00.000-08:002008-02-13T05:56:00.000-08:00Re: HOAsi haven't paid my hoa fees in 6 months and...Re: HOAs<BR/><BR/>i haven't paid my hoa fees in 6 months and no one has said a word. <BR/><BR/>I request a statement every month... it does not get sent. <BR/><BR/>A lady friend stays the night, parks in guest parking, comes out in the morning to a bright red sticker on her window about long term parking. <BR/><BR/>Conclusion: My HOA is run by retarded old people who can't see good.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-6214274571929786952008-02-13T05:55:00.000-08:002008-02-13T05:55:00.000-08:00HOAs in ArizonaOnly controlling people who were ab...HOAs in Arizona<BR/><BR/>Only controlling people who were abused in H.S. worry if their neighbor paints his house with eclectic colors. Only neurotic people worry if the garbage can is left overnight on the curb. Only inconsiderate jerks worry that a city ordinance is NOT enough to enforce simple regulations and an HOA is needed in case the city ordinance is not enough maintain peace among neighbors. <BR/><BR/>Take your HOA and shove it. <BR/><BR/>P.S. Anyone that thinks the Mesquite or Palo Verde tree is a weed needs to go back to Arkansas where they need HOAs.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3186587159895902453.post-10305533203875152432008-02-13T04:49:00.000-08:002008-02-13T04:49:00.000-08:00Nazi HOA Board members -Hey just egg their house ....Nazi HOA Board members -<BR/><BR/><BR/>Hey just egg their house ....<BR/>their cars tooAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com