April 1, 2008

Archived Homeowner Association Rant

Only an absolute jackass or an inept moron, i.e. a Liberal wanting Big Government would think an HOA is a good idea.
We pay taxes, and therefore, property laws should be uniform and enforced by city, township, county, or state regulators.

Archived HOA Posting for April 2008:
Sorry this section is closed, please post to the current month.
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Also, please check out my LINKS to other great sites.


  1. screw you allApril 01, 2008

    This is a great BLOG.
    Unfortunately these piss ant Realtors, Lawyers, Property Management Companies. Mortgage Companies and Tax Assessors love HOAs.
    Just what society needs a bunch of useless soccer moms, real estate agents, mortgage brokers, lawyers, and such telling someone what they should or shouldn't do to their home and property.

    1. I am with you HATE them... SO I guess I need to find the worst looking and scary people I can find to rent my house and make their lives a living hell.... within the regulations of homeowners associations.

  2. No HOA Help as usualApril 02, 2008


    We have a "flock" living on the roof of our house. How can I get rid of these messy birds?? I dont have the heart to let my husband shoot them. Is there a humane way to get them to go away?

  3. and, u expected ur HOA 2 do whatApril 02, 2008

    re, pigeons
    You have fairly few options with pigeons, but your best bet is to shop the pest control companies. They are a dime a dozen and one that charges $500 is not necessarily going to do a better job than one that charges $50.

    What you do depends on how visible the pigeon roost is. One option is spike strips, which don't hurt the birds. They come in metal and clear plastic, and both are meant to make an area impossible to roost on. They can be unsightly, so talk to the pest control guy about that.

    Another option is a paint that acts like tobasco sauce...the last brand I heard of is called HotFoot, and you can imagine how it works. It's nonlethal, but I don't know if it is colorless.

    I don't think poisoned corn is legal anymore, but I also don't know that it's effective unless you're talking about a finite population of pigeons.

  4. HOA's SuckApril 02, 2008

    Pigeons and use of Fake Owls

    Be advised pigeons are useless birds that carry all sorts of diseases.

    The only time a fake owl will work is if you get the one that has a sensor and makes an owl sound when the pigeon flies near it.

    Poison usually doesn't work on pigeons.

    A water hose is the best option and least expensive.

    You can purchase an automated water repeller device that will keep anything out. it has an electric eye and the water sprays anything that trips the sensor.

    Personally I'd just shoot the shits with a bb or pellet gun.

    i dont recommend a paint ball gun because you will be cleaning that shit off your house and fence.

    More Proof HOA's Are Useless !!!

  5. re, pigeons and use of fake owls - -

    Where can you get from of those water sensor repeller devises at?

  6. re, pigeons and other pest like cats, dogs, etc

    you asked where to buy a water sensor repeller - where to buy one.

    Go to this site ...

    look under LINKS
    the second one from the bottom called - 'scarecrow'
    i have 3 in my yard, they work.

  7. Re: Pigeons

    Good 'ol ACE HARDWARE still sells bird repellant spikes, and they have an owl that hoots and turns its head at night to scare birds, etc. away. It is 25 bucks.

  8. Damn this BLOG is great ...
    thanks for creating it
    the links are good also, cross the board use
    again thanks

  9. I like the poster who had the idea of egging the HOA Board members homes!

  10. all i can say is i fully agree that hoa are useless

  11. I Love It When A Plan Comes TogetherApril 10, 2008

    Reading some archived postings, I love the idea of putting in an external speaker that uses ultra high frequency sound waves and pointing it at my dumb ass neighbor.
    I ordered one yesterday.
    You just turn it on while you're at work.
    No one can hear it.
    But it will drive all the animals nuts and give the asshole neighbor an actual throbbing thumping headache.

  12. re, reading the archives ...

    Frankly I live in Texas and the idea of catching rattlesnakes and putting them in my HOA Board Members yard works for me.

  13. oo la la I winApril 10, 2008

    re, re archives

    I live in the Gilbert Arizona (Phoenix Valley) area.
    I hate these damn HOA's.
    So I am going to sell my house when schools out and move into a non HOA neighborhood.
    But before I do, I'm going down to Tucson and get me about 100 scorpions and put them all over the place.
    They'll play hell getting rid of them!
    I am also going to put some in and around the Property Managers Office.

  14. I gots the last laughApril 11, 2008

    I have this asshole neighbor who thinks her shit doesn't smell.
    Typical mid west useless twit.
    Anyway, she's always bitching about something and wanting to change the whole lifestyle of the community.
    And these damn stupid HOA's listen to her.
    So after a few conflicts I decided to buy two dogs.
    Yep 2-dogs.
    I got myself two male Beagle Dogs about 6-months-old.
    Beagles bark all the damn time.
    It is driving her nuts and she can't do shit about it - why you ask, because half the neighborhood has dogs.
    So to get mine to stop barking, she would be forced to go after everyone else and that would upset her little HOA click community she spent so much time developing.

  15. getting it done myselfApril 12, 2008

    Damned Cats

    The HOA wont do anything about all the damn stray cats everywhere.
    They are as useless as a cat!

    So I have decided a couple of big saucers of ANTIFREEZE should solve the problem.

  16. re, stray cats

    Try moth crystals from Wal-mart. Kinda stinky for the first couple of days, but better than stepping in cat poop while cutting the grass.

  17. re, re, damn cats
    As for the HOA's what do you expect from assholes?

    If they are stray cats kill them!
    If they are your neighbors cats, scoop the poop and sling it on their front door step, they'll get the message!

  18. a simple manApril 13, 2008

    Why do all you dumb asses move into a homeowners association and sign a contract stating that you will abide by the association rules and then whine and snivel like little babies when your neighbors want you to keep your word. You people so full of self-rightous indignation it's pathetic. All you people who think you are above the rules and keeping your word, is what is wrong with and why our society is falling apart. I am a simple man and do not posess a degree of any kind but I knew better than buying a home in an association decades ago, because I did not want to abide by association rules. Do yourselves and everyone in your sphere of influence a favor and move today and stop acting like a bunch of Paris Hiltons.

  19. tick tick tockApril 13, 2008

    to the guy bitching about us complaining about our HOA's - if your not in one what gives you the right to comment.

    Are you one of these asshole Realtors, Mortgage Brokers or do you work for one of those bottom feeding HOA Property Management Companies?

  20. new sheriff in townApril 14, 2008

    re, dumb asses

    Hey shit for brains - no one asked you for your feeble minded worthless opinion.
    I agree with the previous poster, if you dont live in an HOA what the hell are you doing talking about one ...
    I think you just like to stir shit up.
    I bet your are one of those worthless posters that uses CRAIGSLSIST rants and raves boards - they are all losers

    no go back to your medication you scum buket

  21. Just a Hillbilly from GeorgiaApril 14, 2008

    re, Getting the last laugh

    I did the same damn thing.
    I fought with my neighbor and the HOA for 6 months.
    Finally after the HOA won their battle, I bought two Beagle Hounds.
    The not only bark, they howl.
    Now I am laughing my ass off.

  22. Voting This Election I amApril 15, 2008

    To -
    All HOA Property Management Companies, HOA's, HOA Board Members, All Builders Who Start HOA's, and All Politicians Who Support HOA's .......

    This Message is for you -

    Please EAT Shit and Die!

  23. Mind Overrun with ThoughtsApril 15, 2008

    Here's an idea to get even with your HOA / Property Management Company ...

    Next time you write that check for your dues ... either urinate on it (slightly, let it dry) or wipe your butt with it.

  24. re, here's an idea ...........

    i love this idea, i will definately pee on my check to the hoa next month

  25. Las Vegas NV HomeownerApril 15, 2008

    I love it
    I love the idea and concept of wiping my BUTT with a check I wrote to my HOA.

  26. Orlando FloridaApril 15, 2008

    Gosh damn it, I like the idea of peeing on the check better than the use of the rattlesnakes or scorpions.

    It's even better than egging the board members house.

  27. wow they r some angry people here and from what i read justified

    i am sure glad i dont live in an hoa

  28. Ah Revenge Is So SweetApril 16, 2008


    I want you all to think Bird Seek.
    I bought a home about a year ago that had an HOA, my first one, my last one.
    Anyway the bullshit started almost right away.
    So after so slinging and thrashing, I lost.
    So, i bought me two 25 lb bags of bird seed.
    Went out late one night and slung that seed all over my HOA Board Members roofs, front porches, and cars.
    The next day they had hundreds of birds everywhere craping all over their homes and stuff.

  29. screw hoa's and annoying neighborsApril 18, 2008

    re, getting beagle dogs

    My damn neighbor in the adjoining condo units got one. They leave it out at night. It hates no attention and barks and howls all the damn time.
    I can confirm it's a real pain in the butt and very very annoying.
    I have to keep the doors and windows closed so I don't hear it.
    I live in the next subdivision.
    I guess I will call animal abuse and get the dog removed!

  30. assholes keep multiplyingApril 18, 2008

    Hey here's an idea -
    Lets send that asshole Pope back to Italy and let him take all these damn useless HOA's with him!

  31. Leroy Dobbs in LAApril 18, 2008

    The only thing that sucks more than HOA's are the stupid ass Property Management Companies that run them.

  32. the renterApril 18, 2008

    I see we gots sum homeowners association haters here.
    wells I sure agrees with that.
    I hates them all to.
    they mades me gets rid of my live chickens and my day care center.
    whats a poor woman on welfare with no education and an unskilled job to do?
    hows i gonna feeds my family of 9 now?

  33. I am loving getting even!!April 18, 2008

    Personally fro revenge I like the idea of using construction glue.

    Put it inside the tail pipe and the car will never start.
    Glue the hood, truck, and doors shut by running it all around the seems.
    Or, glue their front door shut.

  34. useless HOA's are!!!April 19, 2008

    Hey if those damn HOA's could keep out the Meth Labs, Illegals, and Renters they'd be worth every penny you pay for them, but they are useless and can't even do that !!!!

  35. get my mouth pieceApril 21, 2008

    I personally foresee a lot of lawsuits coming down with these damn stupid ass HOA;s over going Green.
    These morons don't understand that Green is good for the environment and saves the homeowner utility cost.
    Who the hell wants to be submitting bullshit plans to a bunch of no nothing old farts or stupid soccer moms?

  36. gaining control over the massesApril 22, 2008

    If America keeps letting these asshole politicians give these useless HOA's power, we might find out they will soon be totally controlled by Liberals and want to ban ownership of Guns in the neighborhood.

  37. re, bird seed

    I have used this approach myself.
    It really works.

  38. Jut spent the last hour reading some of these posts.

    I like this Blog, I do, I do !!

  39. just say 'screw it'April 23, 2008

    I am in full agreement ALL Homeowner Associations are unruly little Nazi empires bent on destroying America.

  40. I am a RENTER

    Here is my message -
    You assholes at the HOA along with the dummy owner of this property I rent have driven me crazy with all your bullshit.
    So when I move out ...
    I will leave cans of cat nip and tuna around the neighborhood especially near all the HOA Board Members homes.
    I will also throw bird seed everywhere.
    I am gonna find all the dog crap I can and dump it in the community pool.

    Live with that you low life blood suckers.

  41. coming aroundApril 25, 2008

    There is this one arrogant ass HOA board member where I live who thinks her poop doesn't smell ... I have noticed lately her putz of a husband isn't working.
    Hopefully he is unemployed and they will lose their home real damn soon.

  42. getting even ...
    i saw sum discussion of gettin even, try this idea

    fill balloons with household paint, like blue, and toss them at those pesky critters houses peoples call board members

  43. battle of the willsApril 25, 2008

    does your hoa have a community pool?

    get even,

    put some dog poop in it or better yet some dirty motor oil,
    they will have to pump it out and clean it,
    deserves them right....

  44. very nice post, it seems very interesting , well great information regarding birds.

  45. Oh! This is great! Thanks for putting to rest severalsome
    confusion I had seen on this recently.

  46. i am also thinking about this problem of creating illness by these pigeons, as pigeon control is must for the safety of kids also.
    pigeon control

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    Is this possible?

  49. Is there anything I can do - MY HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION IS USELESS!!!!!!! I have literally complained about the same issue(s) for 3 years....no changes.....one home has four dead trees, two are broken in half, flower beds are 3 ft. high with weeds - and still no assistance from homeowners. What can I do? This is in Village Lakes, Frisco TX - right off of Teel Rd.

  50. BTW - my email is steven.mangan@yahoo.com....Thx

  51. Get some liquid steel and inject it into boardmembers front door lock. It will seize the parts together in minutes and if you do it right, they will have to cave in the door just to remove it. At least a $500 replacement. Do it on Halloween as boardmembers are the type of sonabitches who dont give candy out and arent at home.

  52. Arizona has been run by "small government ONLY for corporation" conservafilth only forever--and THEY were the ones who wrote up and passed the bill that required new developments to have HOAs, NOT Liberals.

    HOAs are started by, run by, and filled with conservatives, stupid. They're the ones who want to tell people what to do with their private lives. The reality is that the only small government conservatives care about is the kind that can fit inside a woman's vagina. Other than that, they're ALL for control of your personal life.

    Every detail of it.

    Try to keep up.


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